Washed by the Water

I have not been a very good example for God lately. I have gotten caught up my boy crazy desire to be adored and satisfied that I've lost sight of the adoration and satisfaction I receive from my creator.I know that it breaks his heart to watch me breaking my heart over men that don't appreciate my worth or don't care as much as I do. I hear him screaming at that he has something better for me planned, but I just can't let go.

Holding on is one of the biggest things that keeps me away from God. I hold on to the words people say, or the happiness that no longer belongs to me. I hold on to the hurt, the anger, and the past. Theses things just crumble in my hand as I hang of the edge of a cliff. Yet, instead of putting my faith in God and coping with the fall, I keep trying to grab hole of the mountain.

I miss him. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. The feelings are not mutual. I keep hoping and waiting for the day he changes his mind, and I am once again embraced in his arms. I can wait for that. I need to do whats best for me and let go off the cliff. Have faith. Pray.