There is something in my life that is makeing it hard for me to follow God the way I'm meant to. And that thing is Fear. I know this is a shallow, and stupid fear to have but I am deathly afriad of not finding my true love. The thought of there not being anyone out there for me hurts worse than anything else in the world. I am so afriad that God didn't create someone for me. That I was put on the earth to be... alone. And this fear is keeping me from completely trusting God.
Because I don't trust God, I am constantly creating and searching for my own prince charming. And it gets me hurt. Because no one can ever match up to a man that God created to be my husband. But I am afriad God didn't do that for me, so I figure any Prince is better than none.
I know that not everyone will find their soul mates, if they even had one. My mom is the perfect example. She's basically given up. She has us kids, but I mean not forever. After that she'll be alone. Thats what I'm afriad of; not finding love and being alone.
Another thing that bothers me about this is that I am have a hard time giving up this fear to God. Because I want to be Cinderella so freaking bad..
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