The Yellow Umbrella

When I first got my Job at the local WaterPark, one of the first things I wanted to do with my money (besides buy a car) was buy a yellow umbrella. I searched my local convieniant store, but have been unsuccessful. The story behind my desire for the yellow umbrella can be traced back to a little tv show called "How I met your mother". The premise of the show is Ted Mosbey telling his children all the events leading up to him meeting their mother and his future wife. In on of the episodes Ted finds a yellow umbrella at a club which the nararator informs belongs to his future wife. Through out the show the umbrella symbolizes Ted getting closer to finding his future wife. I guess the Yellow Umbrella for me serves a simular conotation. I gives me hope that one day I'll find my prince charming. So, I guess the reason I have yet to find my yellow umbrella is that I still have somtime before I finally meet the love of my life. That doesn't mean that I wont stop searching for my Yellow Umbrella, but rather when I do find it, It will be as bright and prominent as the color Yellow. When I find that umbrella, I know that it is almost that time. When the walflower is asked to dance.

Round 2

Welp. That was short lived. It's weird how differently people can perseve things. After we kissed... he didn't feel anything. I did. And to be honest... I proud of us... We've matured a bit. He was honest with me letting it drag out (which would've hurt me even more). I am hurt, and it sucks, but I am glad he made the right decision. And I've also been able to act the way I normally did, despite the feelings that are inside of me. I just wish we could get the friendship that we had before we kissed back. I feel like its different, despite the fact that we're handling the situation well. And I guess that it might have to do with how I still hurt inside. But I guess.. I dunno... I feel like there's more going on underneath... Then again, thats always been the case with him Haha...

ttfn♥
Kate

Stupid or Reckless?

So I hung with Ryan yesterday. We tried to get a group together, but it ended up being just me and him. And we had a BLAST!(: We didn't know what todo at first. Then he pulled over into a neighborhood and he got out the car, walked over to the passenger side, and said "You choose where we go,"

So he let me drive his car. And we drove around a bit, and he gave me some driving tip since I haven't taken my test yet. I was nervous though XP. Eventually we switched back and we started talk about the differance between Stupid and Reckless Driving.

So he turns to me and says, "Wanna do something Stupid?" and of course I agreed. So we went to this dark, and empty road... He grabs my hand and... He floors it, 60 miles over the speed limit. Exillerating(:

So by the time we got back to my house it was around 10, and my parents still weren't home (I'd been home alone all day). So we drove over to their office to see if they were still there, and they were. SO we hung out there for a little bitt. Then when they were ready to go we went back to the house, but still ended up beating my Dad, so we went inside a comenced a Ninja Pillow War.

When my Dad walked in we were in a very awkward position. He leg was like over my head and my arm was like between his leg and shoving a pillow in his face and it was great haha. So my dad walks in and is just like"...you're not supose to have boys in the house when we're not here," and walks away.

So we continued on with our Pillow War until we ended up plopping down on the couch. We were sort of in a cuddley position. Then our hands sort of inched closer to eachother until we were holding hands.

We fell alseep there until Mamasummer and Reighan got home (apparently they had gone to Wall-Mart) and woke us up. Then we ended up playing Life with my family until round 12.30 when he had to go home.

So I walked him out to his car, and we hugged goodbye. Then I moved my head alittle then he moved his head, and then we kissed. I was one of those where it was more then a peck, but less then a french. Then we held eachother for a long time and I said, "Stupid or Reckless?"

He chuckled alittle and said, "I don't know yet," Which brings us to where we are now. Its thanksgiving, and I am currently at my G-rents house.

I obviously have alot of feelings about the sitution, and its all sort of confusing. So I guess I'm just gonna wait, and let it play out. All I know for sure is that if we do end up back together I don't want it to be like last time. I want it to be christ centered.

Because if there's one thing I've learned in my measly 16 years is that if Christ is not at the center of anything, it will eventually perish.

So because it s thanksgiving I would just like to thank God for his Grace, seccond chances, my supportive and loving family and friends, and most of all sending his son to die on the cross for my sins. Amen.

ttfn♥
Kate

Wow, I can get sexual too: My Dirty Little Secret

So there's this guy I've had an on and off thing with since the begining of sophomore year. And he's kind of a douche as most on and off guys are, but there's a problem. And that problem would be his big brown eyes, and the fact that everytime I see him I want to have sex with him. I know this makes me sound like a slut, but I don't even really like him. I mean I care for him and his well-being but I don't feel romatically for him. He just makes me really horny. This sounds kind of dumb, but I think its because my fling with him is a bit more risque than usual. Like we do bad kid things together, and he makes me feel like a risktaker or a badass. And I know that makeing out with him in a band practice room does not make by any means make me a badass. But its the excitement of sneaking around, and being bad. It makes me feel like a cool kid, haha! It also bothers me that there's alot of songs that remind me of him such as the 2 mentioned in the title and many, many more. I sometimes want to tell him that these song make me thing of him, but then I'm like thats stupid.

Farewell Adress

36 minutes.

I would like to extend a friendly good by to the 15 year old version of my self. As this year comes to a close, I look back on all the shit that went down, and just how far I've come. It was the year my stepmom got cancer, the year I lost my horse, the year I got my heart broken. And God Damnitt if it wasn't one of the best years of my life. So years a toast to the good and the bad, the friends lost, the friends gains, all the good times, and all the shit that went down. It was all worth it in the end and it's made me who I am today.

30 minutes

My last day being 15 was pretty normal. I went to school. I didn't wear shoes. I ate lunch with my friends. I went to the dentist. Ate some fajitas. Froze my butt off at a football game. We won. Doug came and said Hi to me in the stands. Yet I wouldn't have spent it any other way. Because being 15 taught me how to make ever little thing an adventure. And thats what today and everyday is. An adventure.

24 minutes

I look to future and realize that I'm not sure what I want to do with my life. But one things for certain. I want fun, friendship, and above all else God. This is the next the next step, and a new begining. I am growing closer to the woman God intended me to be. And that in its self is exciting.

16 minutes

I also look forward to the change, and fear it at the same time. I look forward to the life lessons, the friendships, and even the heartbreak. For it's going to shape me into who I am supose to be. I've come so far, looking back, and I'm ready to keep pushing forward.

12:01 November 4th, 2011

Finally, I am 16. The year I've been waiting for along time. Sweet Sixteen. I made it. I don't feel any different. Excited. A couple minutes more mature perhaps? But the real change wont sink in for a while, and then this time next year, when I am a senior, I will sit and reflect on all the things that are still to come. Oh, what a year it will be.