Charisma is one of the most inspirational tools one can use to change the world. Today it was brought to my attention that I am very uncharismatic. This bothers me because I want to change the world in some way shape or form. I realize that I haven't talked about it much, but in some way I want to leave my mark on the world. I want people to remember me long after I've died, like Jesus or Rosa Parks or Elvis. Any who, back to why I am uncharismatic. It is not that I'm a unlikeable person, or that I don't have passion or enthusiasm. It because let my negative qualities ( specifically insecurity, moodiness, and perfectionism) cloud out the things that attract people. Unfortunately, my faults are apart of who I am and I will struggle with them for the rest of my life. I can't change my personality for the sake of being charismatic. You can't try to be a charismatic person. Charisma comes naturally. You can't fake charisma. Does that mean I will never be a charismatic person and never achieve my dream of being influential? I don't think so. I think everyone has their own form of charisma, because different people are attracted to different things. The fact is not everyone is going to like you. This is a big struggle for me, because its easy to understand right now, but it might not be when someone cracks a fat joke at my expense when I walk into school tomorrow. Not being able to accept this fact is the reason for my insecurities, and my need to be perfect. All these things combined make me frustrated, and scared which leads to my moodiness. If I would just accept this fact I could be a very charismatic person.
The interesting thing is that tomorrow, there's a chance that I could disagree with everything I just said. I could be wrong. As life changes, I change my mind. I spend so much time trying to rationalize my feelings, and it frustrates me. Honestly, I will probably never truly understand life, because in just one moment you can begin to question your entire existence. It could be something little like not having lunch money or a ride home. It can be something big like my mom has cancer or my dads in prison. Life is unpredictable. You just can never know. You can't spend your life worrying about whats to come. You must enjoy what you have now, because in less than a second it could be gone. Sadly, when I say you and I tell you to do things... I am usually talking to myself. I don't know though. What do you think?
♥Kate
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